The Gifts...

these are the gifts I received from my
friends :) So happy to have them all and yes of course, in return I gave back something to my friends.

Merry Christmas everyone!!!

Happy 30th Birthday Aiba!

Wish you all the best in this world~ I love you Mr. Sunshine.

The Beginning by ONE OK ROCK (Rurouni Kenshin Live Action Movie OST)

I'm totally addicted to this song! It plays at the end of Rurouni Kenshin. At dahil diyan, crush ko na si Taka (vocalist) of ONE OK ROCK. He really reminds me of Brandon Boyd, circa Drive (2001) :') . 

Just give me a reason 

To keep my heart beating 

Don’t worry it’s safe right here in my arms 

As the world falls apart around us 

All we can do is hold on, hold on 

Take my hand 

And bring me back 

I risk everything if it’s for you 

I whisper into the night 

Telling me it’s not my time and don’t give up 

I’ve never stood up before this time 

Demo yuzurenai mono itta kono te wo hanasanai 

So stand up, stand up (Just gotta keep on running) 

Wake up, wake up (Just tell me how I can) 

Never give up 

Kuru wa shimi hodo setsunai 

Just tell me why baby 

They might call me crazy 

For saying I’d fight until there is no more 

Fureri wo fukunda senkougankou wa kankakiteki shoudou 

Blinded, I can’t see the end 

So where do I begin? 

Say another word, I can't hear you 

The silence between us 

Nanimo nai you ni utsuteru dake 

I take this chance that I make you mine 

Tada kakusenai mono kattate yori misekakete 

So stand up, stand up (Just gotta keep on running) 

Wake up, wake up (Just tell me how I can) 

Never give up 

Kanashimi to setsunasa 

Just give me a reason 

To keep my heart beating 

Don’t worry it’s safe right here in my arms 

Kudaketenaide saite jita kono omoi wa 

So blinded I can’t see the end 

Look how far we made it 

The pain i can’t escape it 

Kono mamajya mada owarase koto wa dekinai deshou 

Nando kutabarisou demo kuchi hateyou tomo owariwanaisa 

So where do I begin? 

Nigirishimeta ushinawanu youni to 

Te wo hirogereba koboreochisou de 

Ushinau mono nado nakatta hibino dasei wo sutete…kimi wo 

Just tell me why baby 

They might call me crazy 

For saying I’d fight until there is no more 

Fureri ukanda senkougankou wa kangakiteki shoudou 

Blinded, I can’t see the end 

Look how far we made it 

The pain i can’t escape it 

Kono mamajya mada owaraseru koto wa dekinai deshou 

Nando kutabarisou demo kuchi hateyou tomo owariwanaisa 

It finally begins..

Rurouni Kenshin Live Action Movie

Gaaaah! Til now, hindi pa rin ako maka-get over sa Rurouni Kenshin live action movie! It was sooooo good,  so wonderful, soooo great soooooooo..... I cannot find the right words to describe the movie! Himura Kenshin is the besssssssssssst! Sobrang asteeg talaga. And I just fell in love with him all over again! Sato Takeru is so good as Himura Kenshin. I totally love him na!

If you're a big fan of the manga and the anime, you really should watch this movie. You'll get your penny's worth. I just love all the fight scenes. Grabe, wala talaga akong ma-say! Ang bongga! Heto nga at paulit-ulit lang itong sinasabi ko. hehehe. Gusto kong siyang ulit-ulitin kaya lang wala akong budjey :'(

At dahil high na high pa rin ako hanggang ngayon sa Rurouni Kenshin, I'm watching the anime again ^_^.

Insecurity Attacks

Ito na naman yung mga panahon na inaatake ako ng matinding insecurity. There was this girl (from the Arashi fandom) who posted on my FB page that she got my book and she'll PM me raw with her thoughts about my novel. I replied to her comment, at ang sabi ko: "Thanks, and sana kahit pano ma-enjoy mo yung book." And then kaninang umaga, nag-reply siya sa comment ko, and said "well… not entirely." So ayun, dahil sa comment nya parang doomsday ang feeling ko. Bigla akong inatake na naman ng insecurity. Well, lagi ko naman naiisip na hindi ma-appreciate ng iba ang nobelang sinulat ko. Tanggap ko naman talaga na hindi ako magaling. Kaya lang siyempre, nalulungkot pa rin ako sa pakiramdam na wala naman palang natuwa sa isinulat ko. The "what's the point of writing?" question was bugging me again ~.~.

I really want to be a “magaling” na writer like my idols (Vanessa, Mandie Lee (Yumi Sagara), Rose Tan, Sheena Rose and J.R.R Tolkien (kung mas ambisyosa pa) and all these sikats and magagaling na manunulat. But I know mga 48 years pa bago mangyari iyon o bago ako lumevel sa kanila. Bakit kasi hindi kasing rich ng utak nila ang utak ko? Bakit hirap na hirap akong magsulat ng maganda?

Minsan tuloy, naiisip ko talaga na i-give up na lang ito. But then, no matter how many times I've said this, I always keep on coming back to writing. Isa ito sa mga bagay na hindi ko kayang hindi gawin o hindi balikan. I know I'm not good at marami pa akong kakaining bigas para gumaling sa pagsusulat pero minsan naiinip ako. Kasi gustong-gusto ko nang gumaling magsulat pero hindi naman ako magaling T^T. And that frustrates me more. Ack :| .

Hindi ko alam kung ilan ang nakabasa na ng libro ko. At sa mga iyon hindi ko alam kung nagustuhan nila o gusto nilang itapon ang libro. Haay. Although, may nag-message naman sa akin sa FB na nagustuhan daw niya ang story ni Shinji. At sobrang natuwa ako run. The feeling was so overwhelming. Pero bukod sa kanya wala nang nag-PM saken. LOL.

Siguro nga masasabing feelingera ako kasi, hindi ko rin maalis sa utak ko na gusto kong magkaroon ng "taga-hanga" or FANS. Ang sarap siguro kasi ng feeling ng may humahanga sa'yo and yung feeling na may napasaya kang tao dahil sa isinulat mo. Pero malamang mga after 10 years bago ako magkaroon ng "fans". HAHA! Or that would never happen ever.

Basta ang dream ko ngayon ay makapagsulat ng maraming libro (kung kakayanin ko) at maging katulad ni J.R.R Tolkien #ambisyosa . I'm just kidding. I know I wouldn't be in Sir Tolkien's level. So, my goal for next year is to write and write and write... hmm... At least 5 manuscripts and that 5 MS are all approved. Ayan, hindi ko na tinaasan ang goal ko, Kasi alam kong imposibleng makapagsulat ako ng mas marami pa diyan. lol. Ang 126 pages na pocketbook sa’ken ay inaabot ng 3 months bago ko maigapang.

My other wish is for JJ's story to be approved *crossing fingers*.

-Yaney Matsumoto-