Here We Go Again~

Honestly I don't know what to do anymore. Ugh! I'm so frustrated with myself right now! I can’t keep writing my manuscript. Just like before, whenever I face the MS Word, I couldn’t find the right words to say, how to put the right feelings/emotions in my story. I feel like everything I’ve written were all wrong. Damn it. I hate myself.

I’m thinking about writing another story and leave this stupid thing for a while. But my friend said, I should finish writing first what I’m supposed to be finishing off before I attempt to write another story. I have so many plans, yah know. In my mind, I have stories I want to do. But how can I accomplish all these things? I seem to lose my drive to write. And I’m not sure if it’s going to come back to me. It’s making me crazy! I don’t want to stop with only 3 published works. I hope I could catch that elusive drive back again. T_____T

I need motivation… I need inspiration…

Perhaps, I could make Matsujun and Arashi and my Japan dreams as my motivation, no?

Sakurai Sho in SG!!!

Yep, you read it right. Sho is in Singapore right now to promote his upcoming movie (with Kitagawa Keiko) Nazotoki wa Dinner no Ato de or NazoDi.

Singaporean fans are all lucky because they have the chance to meet and see Sho-kun in flesh. I'm so jealous! I wish I could transport myself right there at that very moment. He arrived in SG yesterday afternoon at 5:15 pm, they said. But it took him so long to come out. I don't know why. Probably got held up in the immigration :p .

cr. @talkativefreak (twitter)

I couldn't go home because I was waiting for his arrival at the Changi Airport. As if I was there too. LOL. I was still at the office until 6:30 pm, waiting for papapics, fan pics and fancams of him over twitter. And when he came out~ boom! Every one is in ruckus even the fangirls on twitter! Can you imagine that? That's all how we feel. It's as if we're also in SG.

cr. Xuedi Zhang

And you know what? He makes me feel so happy and so proud because when he showed himself to the awaiting fans, he was all smiles, waving, being friendly, so charming and so handsome! I never expected him to do such things like these. If you've been a fan of Arashi and Sho for a long time, you know the long-running joke about him, the fans and umbrellas. LOL.

cr: CNBESTZ

cr.  @toorielvrping (twitter)

I heard from one Sho wifey that he had changed the way he treats his fans. So different on how he treated them before. Maybe because he's a matured man now. And hey, he's 31 already! He won't be throwing umbrellas at them anymore, would he still? LOL

Up until this moment, I wish I'm breathing the same air and stepping on the same ground with Sakurai Sho. huhu. 

Loki Taking Over The San Diego Comic Con 2013

All my fangirl feels go alaskfasfaslfkafshsalflasfjsal *keyboard smash*. Loki is so effin' awesome!!! What I like most about Loki, I mean, Tom Hiddleston is that he never goes out of character. He tried so hard not to laugh amidst all the screaming fans inside the venue of San Diego ComicCon...he grinned a couple of times but you can see that he stayed on his character.  He's just so great...so adorable!  I totally love and adore him!

I'm jealous of all those people/fans who got the chance to attend the SDCC 2013. Catching Fire, Marvel, The Walking Dead casts are all there!! I wish I was there too T_T.

And oh yes, I can't wait for THOR 2 : The Dark World. I'm excited to see Loki once again and on the big screen kicking Thor's ass! LOL.

2nd PHR Novel : Once & For Always

 Once And For Always
By Yaney Matsumoto

Date Approved: February 22, 2013
Date Released: July 17, 2013

Kahit ilang beses na habol-habulin niya ito, walang problema sa kanya. What was important was that they were going to be together in the end.

Louise hated Jaeden to the core. Ito lang naman kasi ang asshole na dumurog sa puso at pagtitiwala niya six years ago. Dahil sa pagkabigo at pait na naranasan niya rito ay nagtungo siya sa New York upang kalimutan na ang lahat ng nangyari sa pagitan nila. Nang magdesisyon siya na bumalik sa Pilipinas—she was already a successful pastry chef—ay taas-noong sinabi niya sa mga kaibigan niya na matagal na siyang naka-move on sa ex-boyfriend niya.
And then she saw him again…
Seeing him again made her realize something. She lied. Hindi pa pala siya totally naka-get over sa kanyang ex-boyfriend. Pero hindi niya aaminin iyon kahit kanino. Lalo na kay Jaeden. Ngunit nang muling suyuin siya nito ay tinanggap uli niya ito sa buhay niya. Ngunit mukhang nagkamali na naman siya ng desisyon dahil sa pangalawang pagkakataon ay sinaktan na naman siya nito.

After 5 friggin' months, my 2nd PHR novel is finally released! Weee! :D Sobrang tuwa ko lang nung makita ko yung tag sa wall ko sa FB about my newly released novel. Although, ina-anticipate ko na rin na within this month ang release nito since last month pa nag-text yung Editor ko to change the word count of my first page. Masyado raw kasing mahaba kaya pinapabago niya. So, `ayun nga. 

Anyway, I really like the cover. Ang sensual, eh. Mas nagustuhan ko ito kesa ro'n sa book cover ni Shinji. Kita naman na maganda diba ;)? Kaya lang parang di bagay sa story...kasi hindi ko naman masasabi na sensual ang nobelang ito, `noh. Pero salamat pa rin sa gumawa ng book cover! 

Well, to be honest, I love Jaeden's story more than Shinji's ( from my first PHR novel). Haha. Wala lang, mas feel ko ang hero ko dito kasi this is inspired of Kim Jaejoong. And you know naman (if you're a regular reader of my blog) how much I love Jaejoong. Sabi ko kasi sa sarili ko, dapat bago makagawa ang ibang writer ng story na ang peg ay si Jaejoong (I know hindi lang ako ang may bias sa kanya, hehe!), kailangan maunahan ko na sila! Muwahahaha. Kaya kahit hindi talaga siya ang plano kong gawan ng istorya, pinilit ko pa rin ang sarili ko na mag-isip ng plot na babagay sa kanya. Haha! So, I've come up with Jae's story and ito nga `yon. And btw, it took me 2 months to finish the manuscript. Then it took me almost a month to edit it and finally submitted it in November 2012. At oo, two times pinarevised sa akin ng editor ko `yan. I was freakingly frustrated. Ang hirap kaya! LOL. Pero dahil ayokong i-give-up si Jaeden, eh di, gow pa rin until it was finally approved! Yay!

When I bought the book yesterday, siyempre excited ako agad mabasa. Medyo, nagulat lang ako na, binuo ng editor ang pangalan ng hero. He was supposed to be using "JJ" only. Pero naging "Jaeden" na siya. Oh, well, Jaeden James Lagdameo ang buong pangalan ni hero dito. Okay, kaya ko naman palampasin `yun. At least, mukha pa rin namang si Jaejoong. JAE-joong = JAE-den . O, diba? Love ko naman `yung name kaya carry lang saken.  

TRIVIA:

Jaeden Lagdameo: Like I've said before, the peg for the hero is Jaejoong of TVXQ/JYJ. Isipin n'yo na lang `yung mukha ni Jae sa Mirotic or Stand By U era. Iyon ang iniisip kong fez n'ya nung sinusulat ko ito. For me, it was his most gorgeous era. haha! Jaeden, btw is a Chef. Yep, dahil peg lang niya si Jae, hindi siya KPop idol dito. Haha! But if you get to read this novel and you're also a fan of Jaejoong and you know him well, I think mapi-feel mo `yung pagka-"Jaejoong" nung hero na si Jaeden. At dahil sa isip ko si Jae nga si Jaeden, they are the same age, 27. 

Louise Sarrosa: Her name was supposed to be Rachael Leigh. Got it from Rachael Leigh Cook (used to be my fave Hollywood actress back in Highschool). Kaya lang, naisip ko nagamit ko `yung Rachel na name do'n sa Tatta Hitotsu... `yung friend ni Erika (the heroine). That's why I decided to change the name of the heroine here because they are not the same person. Baka ma-associate nang nakabasa ng novel ko na `yun na si Rachael Leigh at Rachel na friend ni Erika (Tatta Hitotsu...) ay iisa. And then I saw Louise Delos Reyes on TV one night. I really like her name. Sabi ko nga, If I were to have a daughter I'd name her "Louise". So yeah, I finally named my Jaeden's partner Louise. She's 26 and a pastry chef. Bakit pastry chef ang napili kong trabaho ni Louise? Wala lang. LOL. Medyo natuwa lang ako sa mga cupcakes at cakes. I have a friend who has a hobby for baking. Siyempre, dahil wala naman akong alam diyan sa tunay na buhay, research ng bongga. Pati `yung best school for culinary arts abroad namili pa ako. Gusto ko sana sa London eh, pero mas sikat `yung nasa New York ayon sa napagtanungan ko at ayon na rin kay pareng Google.

Supporting Characters:

Micky: He's the overprotective stepbrother of Louise and Jaeden's friend. Kung nagkataon na may Pinoy Cassiopeia na makakabasa ng novel na 'to, #alamna kung sino rin ang peg ng Micky na 'to. haha!   

Yuan: Jaeden's best friend and Louise's boss and the owner of Yuan's Coffee Shop (na originally, Yuan's Coffee ang name), my editor changed it. Ok, whatever suits her. At least andun pa rin `yung "Yuan." haha! And like I said, if you're a Cassie, you'd know instantly kung sino ang peg niya. ;) At may peg din ang Yuan's Coffee Shop, Hollys Coffee. I was so fascinated with that coffee shop. I often see it in Korean dramas. Ang pretty pa ng website nila.

Max: Louise's admirer. He's a photographer. Siyempre kelangan ng third party na hindi naman talaga third party in its real sense, well for me, ha. LOL. At kung sino ang Max na insipiration dito? Sino pa, edi si Max Changmin! Since I love him too, siya ang ginawa kong guy na pagseselosan ni Jaeden.

Miranda: the international fashion and commercial model na friend ni Louise. I love Miranda Kerr as you all know. Si Miranda Kerr ang insipiration ng character na `yan.

Lissy: Louise's friend and the manager of Yuan's Coffee Shop. I haven't thought of someone para maging peg niya. Hmmm...wala akong maisip, eh! 

Special participation of : Jiji--- the blue russian cat of Jaejoong. As in Jiji rin ang ginamit ko sa alagang pusa dito ni Louise. Ang cute kasi niya. O diba, ang bongga ni Jiji the cat!

**If my friends would get the chance to read this novel, hindi na nila maia-associate sa'ken si heroine. Louise and I are a different person. I made her character na wala sa character ko. Well, kay Erika, kahit paano ay may nakuha siya sa'ken. Parang nanay lang na may pinagmanahan. LOL. Pero dito kay Louise kahit isa yata wala siyang namana sa'ken. Ayoko naman kasi isipin ng mga kakilala ko na ako na lang lagi ang bida sa mga nobelang sinusulat ko. haha! Kasi hindi ko naman talaga intensiyon iyon. Nagkakataon lang siguro. 

Anyway, hope you'd get a copy of this book! :)

--kung may magtatanong kung kailan ako magkakaroon ng kasunod nito, hindi ko pa alam. I haven't finished a manuscript in effin' months. Gahd, I'm actually frustrated with myself. I have no motivation and drive to write. I don't know what the fuck is wrong with me. Huhu. I wanna cry, actually.

Early Birthday Present

hihihi. yup.

I bought myself a new bag last Friday. It's an early birthday present for myself. It's quite expensive. Don't care about the price though (di pa masyadong nagsi-sink in sa`ken ang presyo. LOL). I just love collecting signature bags. Been a passion ever since I started working. Well, this is the most expensive bag I've got for myself so far. But I'd love to have an LV or an Hermes sometime in the future. LOL.

Well, hello there, Matsumoto-san!

I was laughing so hard this morning when I saw this picture of Matsujun over Facebook. And for some reason, it wasn't his face that caught my attention *giggle fits*. And if you know me personally, your guess is as good as mine *wriggles eyebrows*.

I think this is for their new Nissan CM. I loooove the pink pants bebe ko!

Ang lalaki, ang trabaho at si MatsuJun

Ang buhay ko ay parang isang telenovela, isang pelikula at isang nobela, all in one. Parang ewan lang.

Kailangan ko ng lalaki. Yes, you read it right. I need a man, ika nga sa Ingles. Pero hindi naman gano’n kadali iyon. Sa panahong ito, hindi naman basta-basta nahaharbat ang matinong lalaki. At siyempre iyong gusto kong lalaki, hindi ko rin naman basta-basta makukuha iyon. Basta kailangan ko lang talaga ng lalaki.

Well, you could say that I’m desperate. As a matter of fact, I am. Nakaka-pressure talaga maghanap ng jowa. Sa totoo lang. Pero hindi dahil NBSB (no boyfriend since birth) ako at atat akong magka-jowa… ayoko naman ng lalaking just-just lang, ha? Iyong tipong basta may lalaki diyan, ay gow na. I’m not like that. I admit I am uber choosy. Narcissistic din, I believe I deserve someone better. HAHAHA. I wish I could tell you the details about this thing I’m going through but I don’t feel comfortable in telling the whole word about this. So let’s skip that part. XD

Tinatamad na ako sa trabaho ko. Kung puwede lang hindi na magta-trabaho, I wanna resign na with my work. But then it’s not that easy. Sayang ang hinuhulugan kong SSS, PAG-IBIG at PHIL HEALTH. At nakikinabang din naman saken ang gobyero with my tax. So sayang nga naman ang trabaho dahil binabayaran ako dito. Aside from that, where will I get the money to fund my fangirling activities if I don’t have a job?

I wish life’s easy. Iyong tipong hindi mo na kailangang mag-trabaho pero andami mong pera. Haay. I wanna be the boss of my own company! Peg ko yung proprietor ng Chatime (#milkteaforevaa). I often see her around Araneta Center. Kelan ba ako yayaman? LOL. Hindi rin naman ako yayaman sa pagsusulat. Unang-una, tamad akong magsulat. Pangalawa, hindi naman gano’n ka-bongga ang maging writer dito sa Pinas. So kahit career-in ko ang pagsusulat ay hindi naman ako yayaman dito. Unless siguro kasing galing ako ni Martha Cecilia, Vanessa at Rose Tan. But that’s next to impossible! LOL.

Haaay…. kaya minsan gusto ko na lang pumunta sa Japan para mag-krus na ang landas namin ni MatsuJun at ma-in love na siya sa’ken. Then he’s gonna marry me, I’ll be the happiest fangirl in the world and we’ll live HAPPILY EVER AFTER. Mas Masaya `yon! :D Puwedeng-puwede kong iwan ang trabaho ko sa opisina at aalagaan ko na lang si Jun. I’ll just stay at home, be a homemaker. I’ll take care of him& our kids, clean the house, cook for him (I have to learn how to cook Japanese food), wash his clothes, warm his bed *naughty grin*… IYAN NAMAN TALAGA ANG DREAM ko sa buhay! #CHAROT.

Sana ay ganoon lang kadali iyon. If the stories on my head in which Matsumoto Jun is the leading man, comes to life, then my life would be great & awesome! This is my fangirl heart talking, of course.

Actually, marriage and family are not my priority in life. Yup. Hindi talaga. Kumbaga, if it comes, it comes. Kung hindi, edi hindi. I’ve already embraced the possibility of being a spinster. If God wanted me to stay single then so be it! Basta ba, I’ll have millions and I can jet-set the world, I’m OK with it *smiles*.

But then again, I’m still not giving up the thought, the dream, the wish of marrying the love of my life~ Matsumoto Jun. HAHAHA.

*ang gulo talaga ng utak ko XD*

Got It~ Finally!

One Day by David Nicholls

Weeeeeeee! At last I got a copy of this book! I've been looking for this book for the longest months and what I want is the original cover. Glad I did find one. And thanks to my dear friend who bought it for me (but I paid of course, this isn't for free!) when she found it in a bazaare in Makati City. She said, she remembers that I want the book with its original cover. Hihi! Been wanting to read this book. So happy that I finally got my hands on it. :)

La la la-love scenes~

My favorite story so far
by Rose Gordon

I’m not a hypocrite or anything, I love LOVE SCENES / SEX SCENES in a romance novel (especially if it’s done in good taste) but I don’t know why I’m not into reading EROTICA ROMANCE. I’m not into Fifty Shades of Grey and this popular novel Crossfire series I've tried reading Fifty Shades...but It’s not my kind of book. Love scenes are ok for me as long as it’s not over the top. My head hurts with too much of it. LOL. I’d rather read a SMUT fan fiction of Jaejoong or any Arashi fanfics than reading Erotica Romance. Hey, it’s just me.

Right now, I take pleasure in reading HISTORICAL ROMANCE.  Why is it only now that I'm reading this genre? I’m 26 and I only discovered this almost 3 weeks ago.  Well, I’ve known this genre exists but I don’t bother to read this stuff because reading Tagalog romance was more like my type of romance novels before. But I’m still reading it though. Tagalog romance is my first love ♥. I’m also reading CONTEMPORARY ROMANCE but Historical romance is what I enjoy reading more.

And since I started reading this stuff, I got so addicted that I wanted to travel in a time machine to go back in 19^th Century England! I certainly believe that I belong in that place and era. LOL. I just totally love it!